Not selfish (nor a quitter) ...
Eyes (and heart) are opened wide over here on a few things that have temporarily stunted my growth.
First? I found myself in a spot where most things were being done simply because I didn't want to disappoint others. I'm a 'pleaser' by nature and quite often I have been finding that I'm simply going through the motions with a smile on the outside simply to bring a smile to someone else's inside .. Trust me, one can not keep up with that facade. Eventually it is evident that the light behind the smile has faded and a big part of what I pride myself in is authenticity, transparency, and just a happy soul in general .. I just have to remind myself that it is OK to say no to what no longer fills my cup.
Second? I lost sight on what brought me my joy. Without my even noticing, those things slowly started slipping down the priority pole and when I became aware I thought that if I could just knock out these few things that snuck their way to the top of my pole real quick, the sooner I could get back on track with what charged my soul .. Wrong. I simply just became stagnant. With all of it. Instead of moving forward I was spinning in circles, telling myself that I should be doing 'this' when all I wanted to be doing was 'this' .. Listen. Time keeps on passing and time spent not in joy is absolutely, without a doubt, a complete and utter waste .. So another reminder? It's OK to refocus. It's OK to reroute. It's OK to make your joy a priority.
Third? I lost my footing. Not only that, but I looked to lean into the wrong places for support. It kind of goes hand in hand with the first 'thing' .. Not only am I a 'pleaser' but I am also someone who believes that without a doubt I can lift others to truly affect change. I mean, everyone wants positive change, right?! I'm sure they do but it's certainly not going to be when (and because) I want them to .. Sometimes I just have to recognize that I am just not strong enough. I have to trust that my strength truly is best utilized on those who are actually trying to lift themselves up at the time I'm trying to lift them up as well. Only then will I myself affect change in the way I want .. This has been my hardest lesson. Honestly. It's one that continues to present itself to me and yet I can't seem to grab ahold and really learn from it .. Until now.
So there you have it. 3 things that if I didn't recognize as things that I simply HAVE TO change, could have very well became the exact 3 things that take me completely out of the game. My advice to you? Take a moment to recognize the things that could potentially have you quitting before you ever truly start.